Chapter Four
Christmas break was in full swing, yet my melancholy mood hadn't phased into something of feeling good and jolly about the holiday spirit.
Alice spent the first three days hogging all of Jasper's time before he took off with his family to visit his grandparents in Texas, but the second he was gone, she focused all of her attention on me. Scratch that, she focused all of her torturing on me. I would have been perfectly fine spending the vacation in my warm bed worrying about Bella Swan, and warring with the guilt that practically seeped from me. She hadn't made it back to school after her first day and there was no one to blame but myself. I drove past her house once... twice... okay, four times a day, but I didn't have the guts to knock on the door, even when I saw the bright green Volkswagen bus with elaborate sixties daisies and other groovy embellishments painted all over it, even the hubcaps, parked in the driveway.
Evidently, I had caused a mass disturbance in Bella's life with my nosy ass snooping, and refused to move past it, or get over it, until I saw her. I wanted to know if she was okay, but most of all I just wanted to see her.
I hardly slept at all. I started taking over-the-counter sleep medication after a few days of troublesome tossing and turning in the middle of the night, but gave up on that attempt after nightmares began plaguing the little sleep I was managing to survive on. I knew I was worrying my parents, and had spent a large part of the time that I wasn't moping in my bedroom assuring them that I was fine.
The day before Christmas Eve, Alice decided that she had had enough of my attitude. After being awake for almost four days straight, my body sort of shut down, and I was enjoying a small bit of restless sleep, when a small body jumped onto my bed and landed straight on my chest.
"Ooomph," I gasped out, attempting to sit up, but the weight was too much to handle for my exhausted form.
"Come on Edward!" Alice sang out as she bounced on top of my chest. "We have less than fourteen hours to finish our Christmas shopping."
"I'm finished. Everyone is getting gift cards from me."
I groaned at the prospect of spending thirteen hours and fifty nine minutes shopping with my little sister.
"Don't frigging think so, Mr. Mopey-Pants," she said in a sing-song voice, pinching my cheeks. "Gift cards are something you get your Secret Santa, not the people you love. Let's go!"
"I really don't want to Alice," I answered, finally managing to push my sister off of me. Alice squeezed her way up next to me, resting her chin on my shoulder. She looked at me apprehensively.
"What's bothering you big brother? You've been down in the dumps since last Monday."
"Nothing, I'm fine," I replied in a robotic tone, earning a hard slap to my chest. I cringed in pain. It seems I'm getting beat up a lot lately.
"That's bullshit and you know it, Edward! Does it have to do with the new girl?" Alice wondered.
I rolled over so that I was on my side and caught her staring at me. Her large hazel eyes were clouded with concern, and I warred with myself whether or not to tell my sister, and my closest friend, everything that had occurred. My face must have given away something because Alice sat up crossing her legs Indian style beside me and took my hand.
"I figured it had something to do with her," she sighed out. "She acted a bit strange every time I saw her, so I did some research."
"Wait. Research?" I asked, sitting up, confused by her words.
"Yeah, I found out where she was from and looked up some other things online. Did she say something about her past when you took her home that day?"
"Not exactly," I said, attempting to straighten myself up a little before I spilled out the entire day's events. Alice listened with intense interest as I recounted everything, from the Biology incident when Bella had her nightmare, to dropping the framed picture of the hand drawn turkey and her screaming at me to get out of her house.
"I just want to know if she's okay. I want to help her Alice. I just want her to be happy," I finished, my voice nothing but a soft whisper.
"Oh, Edward," Alice breathed, pulling me into a tight hug. "It's not going to be easy; she's been through a lot from what I've learned. She l-"
"No, I don't want to know," I said, almost kicking myself for doing so. "I want her to tell me, if she'll even speak to me after what I did."
"She will," Alice simply stated before tumbling off the bed, a soft thud as the only sign that she had hit the floor. "I told you things were going to change. Now look at you. All sad and moping around because you messed up with your first crush."
"I don't have a crush on her Alice," I lied.
Over the past few days the concern I held for Bella's happiness, and the need for her to forgive me, had transformed. Instead of wanting to be her friend, I wanted a relationship with her, like what Alice shared with Jasper, what Rose shared with Emmett and, most of all, like what my parents have.
"Sure, Edward. And I don't like chocolate covered coffee beans," she huffed out sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Get up, we're going shopping whether you like it or not."
"Alice!" I whined.
"Edward," she growled. "Spending your entire vacation holed up in your bedroom is boring and just sad. I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee for the drive, and if you're lucky, I'll make you one, too," Alice said, smiling widely as she walked to the door, throwing it open before turning back to me. "And take a shower. There's no way I'm riding around with you smelling all rank and shit."
"I don't want to go Alice!" I yelled out, even though she was gone and probably could not hear me. I sighed in defeat as I stood up and grabbed a towel before hitting the shower.
Alice had been shopping for Christmas gifts since May, yet the day before Christmas Eve she realized she needed more gifts for almost everyone in the family. She had dragged me around the entire mall, twice I might add, finding gifts for everyone, including our Denali cousins that were coming down from Alaska for Christmas dinner.
Tanya, Kate and Irina were my mother's sister, Carmen, and her husband, Eleazar'striplets. They were two years older than me and never let me forget it, but they were really fun to hang out with. Alice thought it was cute to buy the three of them matching things because of the fact that they were identical. Three sets of platinum blond hair, all three cut short in a bob. Three sets of icy blue eyes framed with designer glasses because all three had received their father's poor eyesight. And three athletic bodies that were a part of every sport that their Alaskan high school had to offer, with the capability of beating the shit out of me without the help of one another. They were about as girlish as I was and that annoyed Alice to no end.
Alice had started spending Thanksgiving down in Texas with Jasper because she hated the fact that Kate, Irina and Tanya spent the entire day sitting in front of the television next to my father, Eleazar and myself as we screamed for our favorite football teams.
"Alice, I'm telling you... the girls aren't going to like these," I offered, pointing to the three manicure/pedicure sets, one pink, one blue, and one sea foam green, neither of which would ever be put to use. In fact, Tanya had informed me that they usually just re-gifted the things that Alice gave them, or the items sat in a closet never to be spoken of again. "We should just go into Modell's and pick up a few jerseys and a new basketball so we have something to do before dinner."
"Shut up Edward! You know nothing about girls," Alice huffed.
"Yeah, because the Triple D's are about as girly as Emmett is after a weightlifting meet," I joked, using Emmett's nickname for the triplets that he had come up with all on his own a few summers ago, despite the fact that he had bigger boobs than the three of them put together.
"Whatever. A girl can try. I mean, how do they ever plan to date if they look like dykes?" Alice asked, scanning a shelf of lotions. It was then that I realized we were standing in Bath and Body Works. For the third time today. I was about to bring up that point when Alice threw a basket of body washes at me, informing me that it was my gift to Carmen and that we were done for the day.
"The only thing we have left to do now is grab some supplies so that we can wrap all of this stuff," Alice said, smiling happily as she handed her credit card to the woman behind the counter.
"God damn it Alice!" I growled out in frustration as I squeezed my finger revealing another small paper cut just under the cuticle. "That's it! Why the hell didn't we just pay to have them done at the mall?"
"Because this is part of the experience. Duh!" Alice replied, rolling her eyes and handing me another Band-Aid before turning back to her wrapping. "How else will we bond?"
"Oh I don't know. A snowball fight… hot chocolate..."
Snow and cold weather jokes were a common thing for our group seeing as there was never any snow and the cold weather didn't last very long in Florida.
"Wait! Since when have we ever had issues with bonding time?" I asked, grabbing another roll of wrapping paper and carefully unrolled a bit. "We're together all the time."
"Well, your mopey ass hasn't been around for almost two and a half weeks, thank you very much. Tomorrow is all about family, so I'll more than likely be in the kitchen helping mom prepare dinner while you and dad set up the spare bedrooms. The Triple D's are going to be here after that and your entire focus will be on them and their ability to dunk a basketball, or some shit like that, so where do I fit in?"
"Are you forgetting the fact that you're going to wake me up bright and early the day after Christmas to do even more shopping? They will be gone before we even get back," I argued.
"Fine Edward!" Alice huffed out, smacking me upside the head with an empty wrapping paper roll. "Go and lay in your bed, moaning about Bella Swan, and the fact that you think you blew everything, like a little bitch. I'm sorry that I was trying to spend some quality time with you before Christmas."
I immediately tried to back track knowing that I had hurt Alice's feelings. "Ali. I'm so-
"Edward likes Bella Swan?" a bemused voice asked from behind me.
I turned around to find my dad standing there in the doorway, still in his hospital scrubs and white doctors coat, smiling at us. Alice immediately started screeching at him about trying to peek at the presents, even though we were only wrapping the things she had chosen for the Triple D's. I had snuck into Modell's and picked them each out a jersey of their favorite football players; all three of them favoring three different teams.
"How do you know Bella Swan?" I asked casually as Alice threw her body on top of the presents in an effort to hide them.
"She came into the office yesterday to get fitted for a walking cast. Poor thing is pretty clumsy from what her file said, and it didn't help that she has been using crutches for the past three weeks or so. From what I hear, Forks, Washington is really rainy, so I could imagine how difficult it was for her getting around," he chuckled out with no humor. "The funny thing is that she never mentioned you, Edward."
My heart fell into my stomach, making me want to vomit with the amount of guilt that poured over me like a bucket of ice water.
"Well I just gave her a ride home from school the other day. Alice blows things out of proportion," I answered, managing to act nonchalant, waving off the entire conversation in hopes that they would leave it alone.
"Is that true?" Carlisle asked, running a hand through his blond hair.
"Yep. Edward's not into girls," Alice said, shrugging without missing a beat. Could my life get any worse at this moment?
"Oh, well that's his decision, Alice. Your mother and I love the both of you just the same, no matter what decisions you make." He gave me a supportive smile before turning and walking out of the room.
Apparently it could get worse.
I threw the bag of bows at Alice's face as she stood up. Her face fell as she stared down at an item.
"Oh no, Edward!" she cried, picking up a small box. "I broke mom's glass rose. We have to run out and get another one immediately."
Apparently when it rains, it fucking pours. And not just in Forks, Washington.
"Well as payback for the gay joke, you can go by yourself, Gidget. Get the hell out!" I snapped, placing a piece of scotch tape over her mouth to keep her from talking.
Ahh! Silence for once.
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