ETL Ch2

I had been in love with my best friend since I was five years old. Now before you start thinking I'm a queer, my best friend is a girl. Well a woman now. Bella Swan, the name gives me chills and makes my heart race. Bella and I had been friends literally since the day she was born, three hours after I was.
Our mothers were friends first so it was just fate that I would grow up with my other half. I remember the day I fell in love with her.
Flashback:
"Bella sweetie you have to go in, your teacher is waiting for you." Renee cooed as she pushed Bella towards the school.
"Are you going to get upset leaving mommy?" my mother asked.
"God no mom, I am a boy we don't get upset." I huffed.
"But mommy what if no one likes me?" Bella cried clinging to her mother's pant leg.
"Bells, come on, no matter what I'll always be here for you." I said walking over and grabbing her hand.
"Really?" she sniffled.
"What are bestest friends for?" I laughed.
Bella smiled toothlessly as we walked into the class room. I turned my head to see our mother's heads together and Renee mouthed 'thank you', I nodded my head as we made it to the coat rack.
"Are you going to be okay Bells?" I whispered so that none of the other kids could hear.
"Yeah, I am just scared." she smiled.
"Well, let's take our coats off and if you want, I will hold your hand for as long as you want me to okay?"
"What if I want to hold your hand forever?" she laughed.
"Well, then I will hold your hand forever."
"I will remember that Edward Cullen, you better keep your promise." she warned.
We held hands for the rest of the day, only letting it go to use the bathroom, or eat lunch. After school we met our mothers and as soon as she let go of my hand, I felt a tingling feeling in my fingers. I got in the car.
"How was your day dear?" my mom asked.
"Really good."
"Did Bella feel better when class started?"
"Yep, we hung out and played with legos like the ones I have at home. The teacher even let us hold hands the whole time and we sat together." I smiled.
"I am glad that you're liking school baby."
"Mom! don't call me baby." I growled.
"Sorry." she laughed.
"Hey mom can I ask you a question?"
"You just did, or does that one count?" she joked.
"I'm serious."
"Ask away little man."
"Well, what does it mean when you feel tingly when you touch someone?"
"What do you mean sweetie? Touch how?" she asked alarmed.
"Like when you hold some ones hand and then let go, the tingly feeling, what does that mean?"
"Oh that's love."
"Love?"
"Yep, that's how I feel about dad."
"Oh."
As soon as we got home, I declined a pb&j and went up to my room instead. Lying on my bed I thought about Bella. I already knew I loved her, but I thought I loved her like a best friend, my mom had just pointed out that I loved her like my dad loves my mom.
"I love Bella Swan." I said out loud.
Yep, my mother knew it and so did I. I loved Bella Swan. Throughout Jr. High neither Bella nor I dated any one but I overheard a boy on my baseball team say that he wasn't going to ask her out because he thought we were secretly dating, and I wasn't going to say otherwise.
Jr. High passed in a blur and at our 16th birthday party, I noticed Bella start to distance herself from me.
Flashback: 16th birthday party.
It was our dual birthday party, the big 16. I had searched long and hard for the perfect gift until I came up with Shiny Toy Guns concert tickets for the following week. I found out that the tickets had been sold out for weeks, so I went to Jessica Stanley. I had heard that her dad owned the venue that STG's were going to play at, so I took a shot and asked her. She was more than happy to help me on the one condition that I gave her a kiss when she got the tickets. Of course I really wanted the tickets so I agreed.
I watched Bella open her presents. I was nervous because Jessica hadn't showed up and I was worried that she couldn't come through. I was about to start opening my presents when I saw the disgusting curls bouncing up to me.
"Here you go handsome." she said holding a white envelope out. As I tried reaching for it she pulled back. "Nope keep up with your end of the deal Cullen." she smiled.
"Fine," I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek before ripping the envelope out of her claws.
I heard her mutter 'asshole' but the only thing I cared about was getting to Bella to give her the present, but Alice all but jumped on my back screaming that we had a schedule to keep. I looked around for her but didn't see her. I reluctantly sat down and started opening presents. As I thanked each person, I noticed that my brother was also missing from the group. As soon as I tore the last present open I thanked Alice and Jasper and quickly found Rose.
"Hey have you seen Bells and Emmett?" I asked her.
"Yeah, they were out back, I don't think Bells could handle all of the attention." she laughed.
I nodded and ran to the back door. I could see Emmett sitting on the ground by the dumpster with his arm around Bella. She looked like she was crying, so I popped the door open quietly.
"Bells do you think that maybe he feels the same way?" Emmett asked.
"Absolutely not he is with her now so it doesn't even matter." she sniffled.
Immediately I wanted to find the ass hole that hurt her so bad and on her birthday no less.
"It's fine I don't want to ruin the party for Edward, so let me just get my shit together and we'll go in." she blew her nose on a napkin and stood up.
I shut the door quietly and made my way back to the party. Bella and Emmett came back in after a few minutes. Some dick had broken her heart and she was worried about me having a good birthday? I fell more in love with her every day.
Before I knew it we were in our senior year of high school. Bella had filled out in all the right places, but she hid everything from sight. Legs that went on for days were only seen when we went skate boarding, any other time she wore ill fitting jeans. Her breasts had grown exponentially during the years, but were always hidden by tee shirts that we bought at concerts we attended together. Her hair was soft brown and when Mother Nature was kind to give us some rays, you could see hints of red here and there. Her chocolate brown orbs that seemed to take in everything all at once, I sometimes would ask her to have a staring contest, just so that I could have an excuse to stare into them without coming off as a weirdo.
We were going to college together, well not in the sense I was hoping, but we were going to be together. Her dorm was across campus from mine and we were both lucky to get single rooms like we wanted. Everything was going smooth and every day I kept getting closer to tell her about my feelings. It was on the edge of my tongue more than a couple of times the week before everything changed.
Flashback: Part from hell.
Emmett was a senior and his frat house was having a huge blowout to celebrate exams being over. He had called me that morning telling me to invite the entire freshman class I could find. Sometimes I thought he was begging for the cops to break down his little parties.
"Dude is it your goal to get the cops called at every party?" I asked.
"Yep it's my senior year and I have three more parties to go before I break the record of Matt Nickels two hundred twenty four." he boomed through the phone.
"Wow, manage to make any goals about your future?" I joked.
"Hmmm, I want to marry Rose and use my business degree to open her dream garage."
"Wow! You just surprised the hell out of me." I laughed.
"You didn't let me finish. I want to open the garage so I can screw her on every fine ass ca-"
"Emmett why do you do this to me?" I groaned.
"Well little brother maybe you wouldn't be so scared to talk about it if you actually managed to get laid. You know what I am going to do? I am going to make it my mission to get you laid tonight."
"Shut the hell up or I am not coming." I growled.
"Okay fine Eddie boy, but if you don't start getting out there… I am going to start making it a point to get you laid."
"Goodbye Emmett. I'll see you tonight." I said before hanging up.
I wanted so bad to tell him that the only girl I would ever lose my virginity to, will be the only girl that had ever held any of my interest. But I could never tell anyone about my feelings for her, without telling her. Maybe that was the way to do it, admit it to Emmett and let him tell her. 'No dumb ass, you need to tell her yourself.'
I wanted to tell her tonight at the party, but I didn't even know if she was coming, so I sent her a quick text asking if she was planning on going.
She text me back in no time: Yep I will see you there Alice got a hold of me to try to make me beautiful.
I had a tiny internal battle over what to reply, so I went with something a little out of the best friends' zone: You already are so it shouldn't take long see you there.
She didn't reply right after so I decided to get ready. Right as I took my shirt off, my phone beeped.
She said: You too
It was simple but just the thought of seeing her made my heart thump wildly against my chest. I decided to wear a black polo and dark jeans, and jumped in the shower.
I was met with a raging hard on I had grown used too since I hit puberty. I had never been with a girl physically, but mentally I had been with Bella more times than I could count. Today Bella had surprised me by joining me in the shower. She ran her small hands up and down my chest dragging her nails over my nipples.
As I envisioned, her hand trailing down to my raging hard on taking it into her tiny fist. I pumped my fist around my erection fast trying desperately to find release. 'Edward I want you to take Me.' she whispered in my ear and that was my undoing, as I came hard, shooting my spunk all over the wall in front of me. After gaining my composure, I washed my body before shutting the water off.
An hour later I was standing at Emmett's frat house drinking a vodka and Red bull. Emmett's roommate James was behind the bar.
"Hey can I get another vodka and Red bull." I asked.
He laughed and muttered, 'pansy can't handle the good shit'.
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh I asked, are you sure you don't want rum?"
"No I will take what I asked for thank you." I gritted my teeth and watched him mix my drink.
"There you go son. Make sure to tip the tender." he pointed to a jar that said: Tips and Panties welcome.
I took a five out of my wallet and shoved it in the tiny hole at the top of the jar before heading back to Emmett. People already crowded the house, and the party just started. A few of my fellow freshmen were already drunk, there was even a guy passed out on one of the couches.
"There is my Eddie boy." Emmett called.
"Don't call me Eddie Emmy."
"Don't call me Emmy Ed."
"Don't call me Ed Emily."
"Don-" before Emmett could continue, Jasper cut him off.
"Okay you guys watch too much South Park, shut the hell up!" his laugh cut short as he inhaled sharply. "Would you look at that." he let out a low whistle.
I looked up and saw Alice, Rose, and Bella. If I didn't know her so well and loved her so much, I probably wouldn't have recognized her.
Her hair was smooth and silky, hanging down to her perfect ass. Her eyes a smoky, and sexy, her lips were a glossy pink. There was a significant amount of glitter on her cleavage that could only be seen when she walked under the few lights hanging from the ceiling. The dress she wore was a dark blue that made her pale skin glow. It was short cut showing off her long creamy legs. Thank god Alice didn't force her into a pair of heels instead she wore a pair of flat shoes that matched the dress.
She was looking around for someone and for a second I hoped it was me. I snuck up behind her and put my hands over her eyes whispering, "Guess who?" into her ear. I could smell her lovely floral smell and fought the urge to bury my face in her hair.
She didn't even stiffen before replying. "Hmmm… Adolf Hitler?"
I chuckled as I let my hands drop. "You're funny B."
"Yep! call me Dr. Crack up." she said.
I caught myself watching her lips as she spoke and fought the urge to press my lips to them.
"Do you want a drink?"
She nodded and I took her hand in mine to lead her through the packed house to the bar. James took one look at Bella and I knew he was going to try something.
"Hey there beautiful what can I get for you?" he asked.
I felt her tense so I squeezed her hand in reassurance. There was no way James would try anything while I was standing there.
"I'll just have a coke." she answered before turning to me. "Edward?"
"Vodka and Red Bull." I answered.
"Coming right up! I'm James, but you can call me big papa." he said putting the two plastic cups in front of us.
"Eww, no thanks, James." Bella answered coolly as she pulled me away from the bar.
"Bells, come dance with us." Alice called from the dance floor where she and Rose were grinding on each other.
Bella downed the contents of her cup and handed it to me before walking over to the girls. I watched as they sandwiched her in between them and started dancing on each other. Jasper and Emmett were standing right beside me snickering, but my eyes met Bella's and I was lost. I watched the way her hips swayed and envied Rose for being able to touch her there.
"So Tanya wants your digits." Emmett laughed pointing to a fake blonde bimbo staring at me from across the room.
"No thanks." I muttered. I was starting to feel the effects of my fourth drink.
"You know what Eddie? why don't you go talk to her. People are starting to think maybe you swing the other way you know." he chuckled.
"Shut the fuck up Emmett and don't call me Eddie."
"Alright fucker, I will make a bet. You go over there and get a kiss, and I will leave your prude ass alone for a year."
"And if I don't want to kiss that." I gestured my hand towards Tanya and she waved me over.
"Then I tell everyone that you're a fag, and you back it up with a kiss to Jasper." he laughed.
"What the fuck dude, how does this have anything to do with me?" Jasper yelled.
"I'll do it asshole." I growled before stumbling my way over to Tanya.
"Hi handsome." she smiled in a way, that I am guessing was supposed to be seductive.
"Er, hello. Do you mind doing me a favor?" I asked shyly.
"Does it involve clothes on or off?" she purred.
I looked around for Bella, and found her at the bar with James and Mike Newton, praying that they would keep her attention long enough for me to get through this.
"On, I was just wondering if you could kiss me?" god I felt like a damn third grader.
"What for?"
"Just cause."
"I'm sure, well you better make it worth my wild." she winked before attacking my lips.
I felt her tongue immediately beg for entrance but I refused. She pulled the hair on the back of my neck before trailing her hands to my ass. She pinched a little too hard causing me to gasp, but she took it the wrong way and tried to stick her tongue in my mouth again.
"Okay… thank you." I said pulling away.
"Wait! Are you going to give me your number?" she asked.
"I'm not that drunk." I said before walking away.
I looked around for Bella, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I went outside to the pool and walked around looking for her dark blue dress.
I walked around outside to try and clear my head. Then I saw Mike walk out onto the patio. "Hey dude, you might want to go find Bella, she is getting wasted." he said clapping his hand on my shoulder.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I asked her to dance and she said she wanted a drink. She was on her fourth or fifth lemon drop when I left."
"Thanks Mike." I said before walking back into the house.
I looked around but couldn't find her anywhere, I walked to the bar and asked James, if he knew where she went and he said he didn't know.
I walked around the first floor a couple of times and went back outside. After a good ten minutes I went back inside and ran into Jasper.
"Hey man Alice just took Bells home, she is tore up from the floor up if you know what I mean." he chuckled.
I ran out to my car without answering him and drove to her dorm building. I waited a couple of minutes and knocked on the door just to hear Bella's muffled voice yell. "ALICE YOU KNOW THE DAMN THING IS OPEN! YOU JUST LEFT."
Praying that she was fully dressed I opened the door. "Bells?"
"Edward?" I heard her whisper softly.
"Yeah Jasper said that you weren't feeling well, so I thought that maybe I would come check on you." I walked over to her bed. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Alice will be here in a minute, so you can go." she answered coldly.
"Okay… I just wanted to see if you were alright?" I leaned down to kiss her forehead, something I had done before and deemed okay, except this time she cringed away. "Bells?"
"Just go." she said before flipping her body to face the wall.
I was immediately concerned that something had happened at the party.
"What's wrong? You can tell me anything." I asked placing my hand on her back.
"Don't touch me." she snapped, her voice laced with venom.
I flinched away. "Well damn it Bells, talk to me you have never been like this. Was it Mike? I saw you two talking, did he do something?"
"Mike didn't do anything, but bug the living hell out of me." she muttered.
"Then what is it?"
I watched her body shake hard with sobs and I was starting to panic..
"Edward, please just go."
"If I go, will you talk to me about it tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.
"Probably not." she answered.
"Then I won't leave." I sat down and put my hands on her back, but again she flinched away.
"Why won't you let me touch you?" I asked sadly.
"You want to know why? Why I don't want you to touch me? Because I don't want that nasty bitches skanky fucking leftovers!" she yelled.
"What are you talking about Bella?" I sat up.
"I saw you all over that blonde Edward." she whispered.
My heart fell into my stomach. Damn it I was hoping she wouldn't see that.
"What does that have to do with anything?" It was a stupid bet.
"Please Edward, I can't do this right now, please just leave."
"No, I won't, you need to talk to me. We have never had a fight; I don't want to start now." I said sadly.
It was true we had never had a fight with each other and it was killing me to see her like this. I didn't want to tell her about the bet because I feared it would lead to me admitting my feelings for her, and that made me want to throw up.
"Edward, why were you looking at me while I was dancing with the girls?" she asked sitting up to face me.
I looked at the ground and kept my mouth shut. 'Mother fucker, she noticed that I was watching her.'
"Answer me? Was it just because there were three girls all over each other or was it because it was me?" she asked.
I decided to go with the truth because I couldn't lie to her. "It was because of you." I answered still looking at the floor.
"If it was because of me, then why the fuck were you all over that girl?"
"It's none of your business Bella!" I snapped before realizing I did.
"It's none of my fucking business? You got all hot and bothered because of me and then turned around and basically fucked some slut in front of me?" she yelled.
"You know what Bella you don't have to be such a fucking bitch." I said before my brain caught up with my mouth. "Bells I'm sorry."
"Get the fuck out of my room." she laid back down.
"Bells?" I put my hand on her shoulder and she smacked it off.
"I said, get the fuck out of my room god damn it! Get the fuck out and stay out." she turned so that she was facing the wall and I could see her body trembling.
I was pissed at myself for acting this way and decided it was best to give her time. I slammed the door behind me so that she would know I was gone. I ran into a shocked Alice.
"Edward? What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.
"None of your damn business, Ali." I snapped.
"You better not have upset her anymore today Edward, god! She can only take so much, you stupid ass!" she called as I ran down the stairs; I had to get away from this building.
I went back to my dorm and laid on the bed. "GOD DAMN IT." I yelled out loud kicking my shoes off and flinging them at the door. What the fuck was I thinking? saying that shit? If I was smart I would have just told her the fucking truth. She basically admitted that she was dancing for me and then I fucked it up. I pulled a pillow over my head and sank into a fitful sleep.
That was a week ago and for the past week, I haven't talked to anyone, not my friends, teachers, not even my parents. The day after the party I tried knocking on her door, but she didn't come to the door. I gave up after three days, but I was worried and needed to see her. I sunk so low that I pulled the alarm in her building three times this week, just to see her. I watched her small broken body walk outside to wait for the all clear. Each day she looked thinner and I was starting to get worried, that maybe she wasn't eating.
I would go to class and then come back to her building, even if it was just to sit outside her door like a lost puppy and hope she would come out. There was a do not disturb sign on door. I watched the door like my life depended on it, until three this morning I couldn't take it anymore and mustered every amount of strength I could, and banged on her door.
"Come on Bells open the door." I prayed to myself.